wittgensteinsmister:

me in a a god awful Austin Powers impression at insanely high decibels nearly to the point of screaming: life makes me depressed baby!!!

my therapist: I know this is some sort of coping mechanism but I am begging you to give me information in virtually any other way

(via wittgensteinsmister)

mosticonicposts:
“itwashotwestayedinthewater:
“ estpolis:
“ meltedbartsimpson:
“ itwashotwestayedinthewater:
“ caravulpix:
“ wires-walter-the-automaton:
“ caravulpix:
“ itwashotwestayedinthewater:
“Big Tasty
”
@wires-walter-the-automaton W HY DO I...

mosticonicposts:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

estpolis:

meltedbartsimpson:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

caravulpix:

wires-walter-the-automaton:

caravulpix:

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

Big Tasty

@wires-walter-the-automaton
W HY DO I IMAGINE ACE MAKIGN THIS WHILE DRUNk

Because this is definitely something he would do! He would probably make it for Peter.
Also, is that cheese?

i first thought it was butter fsr
lmao ace would be on his knees begging peter to eat it, crying and all but peter keeps denying
then gene comes in to save peter’s life by agreeing to eat it for him (because there’s no doubt in mind he wouldn’t) and luckily ace couldn’t hear them discussing the plan over his own sobbing
ace then looks up and notices it gone, peter then shyly exclaiming “yeah it… actually was really good, i’m sorry ace” and ace is sO HAPPY he gets up to hug peter and peter hugs back, feeling bad for lying to his sweet spaceman but it was kind of worth it
at least gene got his midnight snack bc it’s literally 2 in the morning

hey what the fuck are you talking about

oh my god they’re talking about the band Kiss

shut the fuck up

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING KISS?

certified iconic post

(via bumbis)

5afteynotguaranteed:
“”

5afteynotguaranteed:

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(via jethroq)

osoriver:
“leiasayshi:
“So I was going through a drawer of stuff from when I was little and I found this…
” ”

osoriver:

leiasayshi:

So I was going through a drawer of stuff from when I was little and I found this…

image

(via chromegnomes)

medichamcham:

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

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(via averyterrible)

sexhaver:
“sexhaver:
“one of my brother’s cousins is 17 and running this weed instagram where he invents weed slang that’s outlandish even by california standards and the house has slowly stopped speaking english as we imitate it
”
im losing my...

sexhaver:

sexhaver:

one of my brother’s cousins is 17 and running this weed instagram where he invents weed slang that’s outlandish even by california standards and the house has slowly stopped speaking english as we imitate it

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im losing my fucking mind

(via chromegnomes)

sliversoakley4:

this used to be the oldest bar in texas until they built an older one

(via chromegnomes)

vitabreva:

mouth-less:

technofeudalism:

technofeudalism:

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(via shinvermouthea)

butch-witches-deactivated202412:

crimsonsapphic-deactivated20240:

butch-witches-deactivated202412:

feralratbitesu:

mousegirlheart:

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What are you gonna do with this big hammer? Gonna hit me? Better make it count. Better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot.

image

how

how

well anon i am glad you asked me. what happened here is the mouse was able to shatter the hammer due to the innate power of its pure heart. no amount of hardening, heat treating, or tempering can create a steel so hard as it will not shatter when it strikes at one truly pure such as this.

Does this mean if I kill my enemies with hammers it’s really their fault for not being pure of heart enough?? Fascinating. I shall keep this in mind for later

yes anon, that is exactly what that means. but please note: i am acting as your legal counsel as i tell you this

(via shinvermouthea)

cottoncandylesbo:

girlballs:

cottoncandylesbo:

sometimes your sex drive is nonexistent. but you must keep jacking off, if only for the love of the game.

gotta keep practicing during the off-season

get me in there coach im limp and ready to cry

(via filthburger)